Imagine sitting down for dinner, and just as you lift your fork, your plate clears its throat. “Ah, we meet again. Let’s talk about your life choices, shall we?” Because let’s be honest – your meals know you. They see your midnight cravings, your takeout habits, and that one time you attempted a recipe and nearly burned down the kitchen.
So, if dinner had the chance to spill the tea, what would it say?
1. The Midnight Snacker – “We both know you’re not here for just ‘a bite.’”
It’s 2 AM. The world is asleep. But you? You’re standing in front of the fridge, having a full-on moment with leftover chicken, cold pizza, or chin chin straight from the fridge. Your dinner sees you. It knows. And it’s silently wondering why you promised to “eat clean” tomorrow… again.
2. The Takeout Royalty – “The delivery guy knows your order better than your best friend.”
When was the last time you actually cooked? If your dinner could raise an eyebrow, it would. Whether it’s Thai pad see ew, jollof rice and chicken, or that spicy Indian butter chicken, your kitchen is basically a showroom at this point. Cooking? That’s what your favorite restaurant is for.
3. The Foodie Extraordinaire – “This. Is. ART.”
Your dinner practically does a slow clap every time you cook. You’re the one who plates sushi like a pro, turns turns Kelewele (spicy fried plantains from Ghana) into a worthy starter, and makes sure your pasta-to-sauce ratio is perfect. Every meal is an experience, and yes, it must be photographed before the first bite.
4. The Chaos Chef – “Are we cooking… or summoning spirits?”
You don’t just cook, you experiment. And sometimes, it works. Other times? Let’s just say your attempt at Ethiopian injera looked more like an abstract painting. Your dinner watches in horror as you “eyeball” measurements, substitute random ingredients, and set off the smoke alarm (again).
5. The Health Guru – “Ah, another green smoothie. Shocking.”
Your plate practically radiates health – quinoa, grilled tilapia, avocado toast, fonio bowls, green tea. Your dinner is proud of you… but also a little bored. When was the last time you let loose with a slice of cheesecake or a juicy suya skewer? Balance, dear foodie. Balance.
So, What’s Your Dinner Saying?
Whether your plate is silently judging you, cheering you on, or wondering why you put pineapple on pizza (ahem), one thing’s for sure – your meals tell your story. So own it!
And hey, if dinner could actually talk, wouldn’t it be fun to hear its real thoughts? Drop a comment below – what do you think your last meal would say about you?
